Campus Alive

May 23, 2010

R3L4T10NSH1P5

Filed under: Please Note — campusalive @ 2:21 pm

(I’m writing this just about two hours after my final Campus Alive meeting, one that was riveting, moving and definitely one to remember. For me, CA has been a journey so meaningful, yet at times so tough and tiring, that I feel something so precious is being removed from my life. But times call for moving on, and I pray you juniors will continue to carry the flame of Jesus’ name in campus.)

he and she...

My name is Larry, and two years ago I stopped a relationship with a girl I believe I loved very much. Two years ago, I’d just completed my SPM, and was off to short-term mission school. If you’re wondering what missions is all about, it’s basically bringing the love of Christ to people/nations that do not believe in Jesus yet. I was a hungry for purpose and meaning. Little did I know that I would find it in that one month spent in Sibu. To cut the (life-changing) story short, I received two challenges during my time in missions school. One was to be a tentmaker (it means someone who has a career, but is also a full time missionary. His job supports him, and his passion is to evangelize). The other call was to end my relationship. No, I didn’t hear from God say, “I command thee to break up!” I learned how to talk to God there, and through my conversations with Him, through counseling with a close aunty from church, I realized that the relationship was taking top position in my life. I could not seek God wholeheartedly while being in such a relationship. You see, relationships aren’t wrong unless the timing, intention and physical involvement isn’t right.

My friends would later scold me and ask why I didn’t just let go of her for a while and wait. I knew, however, that what I was involved in would have to stop. In case you’re wondering, I wasn’t a radicalized over-emotional young teenager fired up by any feelings-of-the-moment! I prayed it over, I talked it over, and I struggled with the thoughts of losing someone so close to me. I knew she wouldn’t like it.      She didn’t. The breakup itself was unkind to both of our lives (until today I am needful of God’s healing and grace to wipe clean some old smudges). We moved on, eventually. We’re talking now, but there are still things she doesn’t understand, and I can understand why. It was so abrupt; because God had changed my ideals and values so much that I was no longer who I used to be. I could no longer be her boyfriend.

(I must be careful not to put her down, because she was an exceptionally wonderful soul. However, in our conversations I had asked whether she’d ever live a missionary life. I know it’s very far-looking to ask, but she said ‘no’ and that she wouldn’t bear to have me leave her side for more than a few weeks. That was part of the reason I realized we wouldn’t last long, not even from the missions side, but if we would separate ways to study, it wouldn’t work. Relationships take wisdom, and my example is not to become a must-method). Was it wrong for me to look so far in life? I knew that God was worthy of my best. But I would learned it the hard way.

Tonight, I was moved to share this story with you all, because I believe out there there’s someone facing a similar issue. When it comes to our social lives, I know that one of the greatest moments is hearing someone tell you “I love you”. But thinking about it, since God is love, shouldn’t I learn to tell God “I love you and I live for you” before I tell it to a girl?

eternal LOVE...

Young men, our hormones are at a raging stage, and we struggle with the need for a “closer” someone, maybe even a kiss and a hug, someone to ‘love’. Let me tell you something, there are wonderful girls in CA. So many blessed lives that reflect a beautiful story of God’s etches. The challenge for us as Christian brothers is to love them like Jesus, without overstepping the boundaries of a friendship. It is to forge a bond of family, while guarding their hearts. This means that there is a need for self-control. There is a need to realize, as my senior Chewie said, that “you are not a man, you are yet a boy.” And in many ways, that makes us realize how far we are from becoming real men that God wants us to be. Girls, you would want a real GODLY man. Not a hot guy. Not a nice guy. There’s a challenge for you, guys! For this I quote Elizabeth Elliot, “The world cries for men who are strong: strong in conviction, strong to lead, to stand to suffer…glad to shoulder the burden of manliness.” I pray and hope that each and every one of you becomes that sort of man.

the Man...

Ladies, trust me when I say that the modest girl that doesn’t try too hard to be noticed, will eventually find genuine relationships and (I suppose) a solid marriage. I have a Christian sister who challenges me to be a better brother and a better young man. Some of the values she holds on to would make a liberal cringe! But I know the Bible and God’s love shapes her ideals! She knows that God’s love is her priority at the moment, so she’s not trying to gain attention when there are guys around. She knows the preciousness of God’s Word and it shaped her with wisdom. And it is simply AMAZING. This is the challenge for the ladies. The world tells you of beauty in two ways. Conventionally, it was physical beauty. Attract the man and make him drool! Now, the spin doctors realized not everyone was a supermodel and they advertise clothes that fit your figure, “10 HOT TIPS TO GRAB A DATE”, etc. However, the Bible is clear about the woman you should be. Just read Proverbs 31. Here’s an example. Verse 25 – “She is clothed with strength and dignity.”

I’m still praying and waiting (patiently; most of the time!) for my second chance to be “in love” and I intend to keep the second chance the final one. If you share such a hope, don’t rush, and don’t be hasty. Grow in the Lord, and He’ll reveal the best time for you. If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt from my journey in INTEC, it is this: Hold on, serve faithfully, trust like a child, and He’ll show you more and more and more! I’ve seen it in my life, in my friends’ lives, in my family’s life. To Him be the glory. I will miss CA so much.

Holy LOVE

Journeying with you always,

Larry

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9 Comments »

  1. very touching indeed..thanks for sharing!

    Comment by Maritha — May 23, 2010 @ 4:19 pm

  2. Amen :)

    Comment by Cedric — May 24, 2010 @ 1:11 am

  3. wow larry. great sharing :) *thumbs up*

    Comment by Laguna — May 24, 2010 @ 1:54 pm

  4. can’t agree more. :)

    Comment by miryam aren wan — May 24, 2010 @ 6:00 pm

  5. amen

    Comment by LWS — May 24, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

  6. very inspiring. keep on sharing d words of God.
    God bless you.

    Comment by anne — May 24, 2010 @ 10:18 pm

  7. You speak my mind. God bless.

    Comment by Ying Zhi — June 25, 2010 @ 7:09 pm

  8. amen! although i dont know you, but this is a great sharing :-) God bless :-)

    Comment by shik ying — July 22, 2010 @ 1:05 pm

  9. hi, I am a junior who jz started mmy new phase of life in INTEC. indeed a very gud sharing… jz wanna ask, that quote frm Elizabeth Elliot, was it frm her book “Mark Of A Man”? by d way, to anyone still strugglin 2 understand manhood, u may also want to suggest this bk: “Raising A Modern Day Knight” by Robert Lewis… all d best to u & may u continue to shine for the LORD!

    Comment by Cheah Zhong Xiang — July 23, 2010 @ 10:32 am


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